Friday, January 15, 2010

Jersey Shore Characters as Sports Teams/ Athletes

Well, since I am so much in love with the J-Shore on MTV, I feel like a post dedicated towards it would only be appropriate. I see many similarities between teams/ players and the cast members, here goes.

JWOWW- Golden State Warriors. Can either look amazing or awful depending on what day of the week it is. Incredibly easy to score on/with. JWOWW says she's like a praying mantis because she'll rip a guy's head off after having sex with him, and the Warriors pretty much devour (or destroy) any good young player that gets close to them. JW is totally nuts, the Warriors front office is inept and a bit crazy. And they have Anthony Randolph crying on the bench for lack of PT, while JWOWW cries on the phone because she doesn't get enough attention from her boyfriend that she cheated on.. enough said.

The Situation- Terrell Owens. Both use a front of extreme overconfidence to mask their incredible insecurity, both are incredibly worried about their abs (remember the driveway situps?), both can never seal the deal (T.O. drops passes, Situation fumbles pussy). I also see similarities between Situation's relationship with Sammy and T.O.'s relationship with any team he comes to. For example: Situation and Sammy immediately took a liking to each other (T.O. and McNabb, or T.O and Romo) and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Then Situation couldn't seal the deal and Sammy went with Ronnie (Romo going to Witten more often and rooming with him). Situation begins to talk shit about Sammy (as T.O. does about Garcia, McNabb and Romo)....

Snooky- The Raiders. Completely and totally unpredictable (DHB over Crabtree anyone, and who was that guy they took in the second round?) They both expect to be the center of attention, and will throw a fit if they aren't. (Well Al Davis throws fits all the time, at this stage in his life, he probably craps in a diaper, but that is another story). You never know if the coach is going to knock out another coach, (or in Snooky's case get knocked the fuck out) Or if one of their linemen is going to freak out the week of the Super Bowl and start going hulk status and running through windows (or exposing her thong at a club).

Pauly D- Alex Rodriguez. Both are that fake ass orange color. Both have awkward smiles for the camera.

Sammy- The New England Patriots. Attractive on the outside, and were more attractive/ successful in the past, but if you get too close you realize that they are toxic, crazy and should be avoided (in the Pats case avoid betting on them) at all costs.

Angelina- Vince Carter. Think they are prettier/ more talented than they actually are. Refuse to work hard. Piss everyone else off. I hate them both. The end.

More on this later


1 comment:

  1. Really Ross...Jersey Shore? Well at least you don't watch Laguna Beach.

    -The Heckler